His Lordship the Right Honorable Stoator Primor Pylaris Maximus Cotsifas, is a very tall stoat with a very short temper. He's polite, quiet, and singularly merciless. A former slave captured during an Imperium raid, Pylaris' skills as a fighter brought him to the attention of first the Emperor, then the Director (see 'Ministry of Misanthropy '). His predecessor, the War Minister of the time, didn't notice him at all until the first blow was halfway home. The War Ministers, as previously noted, however, are tough gentlemen (and one Lady**). The bid for leadership sparked a duel that ranged through four-fifths of the palace, including the attics, the roof, and the Emperor's bedchamber.*** The duel, epic though it was,**** eventually ended in triumph for Pylaris.*****

This was only expected; Pylaris has a fondness for weaponry of any type that borders on an obsession. He carries his sabre, a trophy of his succession to his current position,****** as well as at least three other weapons at all times. He also shows a fondness for siege ballistae, and he's been known to hurl a dirk into a wall near someone's eye to get their attention.

Pylaris, so they say, has nothing against those who have committed no crime- but he's also the fellow who instituted such offenses as "Unprovoked perambulation with intent to generate self-motion", "Malicious rythmic inhalation", and "Rapid ocular-membrane movement". He's also got the twin notions that criminals don't deserve pity and that the only form of rehabilitation that actually works is hard labor or confinement, or preferably both at once.

His relations with the other ministers aren't well known, except that he can't stand the Minister of Commerce and would happily arrest all merchants for being too loud by half.

 * As painless as scorpions get, anyway.
 * *  She passed all the requirements with style, including the war-yodelling.
 * * *  He wasn't amused.
 * * * *  More on this later.
 * * * * * Not his real name. Pylaris, as has been mentioned, was a captured beast. His accent is carefully obscured nowadays, and his real name... it's unpronounceable, but starts with the syllables "Mphmainmacdougall".
 * * * * * * He didn't take it from his opponent's dead hand or anything. Eww. No, he swiped it from a guard on the way through the Grand Hall so he could throw his dirk at his opponent and still fight.